New Years Reflection...

Well I can't say that I'm sad that 2012 has come to an end!!!!! this was by far the hardest year that I have had to go through up to date. So much unnecessary hurt and heartache have been shoved down my throat that I didn't think that I was going to survive!!! Even though this has been an excruciating painful year 2012 sure has taught me alot. My inner strength has been tested and battle ready, Self-reliance on myself for survival, and I adapted to living in VEGAS!!!! Staved off a divorce, spent months away from Jeff, and retained my child-like innocence!!!! no matter how hard i try to hide the fact (for my own safety and yours) I actually CARE and LOVE people. This year has given me plenty of reasons to dislike people and maybe use the "hate" word. But then I realized something... i understood their thought process. Granted it's faulty logic, i still understood it. People aren't born bad; they are created that way (personally speaking) and sometimes just plain old uneducated. 2012 taught me to tolerate the things that i may not fully get but love and accept them anyways (even if they cause me pain). I learned that my character is strong; being poor is a good way to weed out my true friends and I can still survive heartache while leaving my heart open... that i have faith, hope, integrity and all the things that make me ME!!! Figured out that I have a high tolerance for pain, sadness, and an overwhelming sense of doing what's right. Best part: I still have my positivity and optimism even though i took a sh!tload of a life beating! Good thing the martial arts and meditation helped with that!!! ;) Finally made peace with my f*ed up teen/ early adulthood hell... now i'm grateful that i had to go thru it. That particular hell turns out prepared me for life as I know it. It made me stronger and I am no longer afraid of my past. All in all it was a great learning year!!!