Jeff and I have been together for over 3 years now... for the both of us this is a lifetime together! But only in the number; it hasn't felt like it has been 3 years. Both of us are 2 very distinct people...
Jeff vibrates more towards red & orange: action, anger, brutal honesty, and his animistic nature within him. Striving for perfection and purity that he rarely finds within himself and others. He is always true to himself and to his beliefs even if they hurt you unintentionally. Words to him have no meaning and the words that come out of his mouth can be detrimental to someone if they do not know who they are; or someone who takes the meaning behind the words more seriously than he does. Jeff is a true human volcano looking for someone or something to cause him to erupt. He isn't a danger to me or to anyone else; he is just rough around the edges because life has molded him that way. Jeff can be easily disgusted with things that he views that are wrong, yet he has the most wonderful laugh and childlike charm to counterbalance his less than likable qualities. His smile, genuineness and protectiveness towards me is something that I have only experienced with him within a relationship. There is no control, manipulation, breaking of my will or abuse in any way... he accepts me for me.
I on the other hand vibrate more towards a mixture of blue & yellow: thought, words, patience, honesty without cruelty, tolerant, hope, principalities, caring, and unconditional love. My extremes are felt on an everyday basis and you are never sure what you are going to get from me on any given day. My complexities are very deeply rooted in me and yet are very simplified. Beauty and appreciation of all things makes me grateful for everything that has been given to me; good and bad. Life could have made me a much colder person but I choose to be warm, generous and nurturing towards others. I am childlike; with a laugh that rivals Santa Claus. My soul, heart and mind all work together to give me that resilience that I need to survive. Faith, love and hope are my means of motivation for the cornerstones of my life. I am a combination of air and water...
This relationship is an odd mixture: one is overly caring on the outside while the other cares on the inside. One refuses to show anger openly while the other has no problem getting it out if his system. I do not need to yell, fight , or argue to get my point across; I just write/type it out of my system so that you cannot see my buttons to get underneath my skin. Jeff cannot let any type of anger linger in his system for too long because it will fester. One openly asks for help with things; the other looks at help as a criticism. Yet we are both highly intelligent creatures each in our own way; Jeff gets numbers, logic and psychics. I get emotions, behaviors and the relationship between thoughts & emotions expressed explaining it in a logical manner.
In the last 3 years Jeff and I have turned each others world upside down; I like to be around people flaws and all while Jeff cannot handle stupidity in any shape or form. He has no tolerance for anything that he cannot logically understand and I will take the time to explain it to him... Jeff gives me harshness while I try to soften him; something which he dislikes but tolerates because he loves me so much. We love each other so much that we listen to each others views/perspectives on life and find a happy medium within ourselves to co-exist with one another. Yes, we do rub each other the wrong way a lot of the time; we are constantly eroding away that part of ourselves that keeps us narrow minded and closed off from other ways at looking at the world. Re-building the core concept of who we are and what we represent into a better working version of our self for all to take notice of.
For all of Jeff's rough exterior he his quite gentle, caring and gets easily hurt if he isn't appreciated in all that he does for you. This is what I show on the outside. This is the side of him that rarely comes out because it is too vulnerable for him to show. Sometimes I have to bring out my anger to show him that words do hurt because they do have meaning; that I may be immuned to his venomous tone but that doesn't mean the poison does not affect me. That the tears that I shed are not from fear or sadness; that they are cause I am angry and my adrenaline is pumping. Lashing out only as a last resort with carefully chosen words in a tone that he will listen to. I am zen till it is time not to be zen...
Despite all of this, Jeff and I are extremely lovable towards one another which actually surprises the both of us. Our hearts have been closed off for a very long time and the fact that we allowed each other into our hearts in the first place is hard to believe. I have a giving heart but not in relationships; that nearly always leaves me broken and numb. Jeff only gives if he is in a relationship; then gives it up when the girl consistently disappoints him. We are by no means each other's "ideal companion" for one another but it is my flaws that make me human and he wouldn't have me any other way... Jeff needs someone to love him past all of the hostility and aloneness that he harbors within him; someone who knows what it is like and still can be sweet and kind all the while living with that cold feeling...
Love is an emotion that I understand well; Jeff doesn't get it and just knows that he cannot be with out me for any period of time. [makes going to work for him that much harder now that we do not work together anymore] His love for me is instinctual; primal and yet protective and nurturing...only caring about my happiness. Cause when I am happy; he is happy. Simply put: we are opposites that are just mirror images of one another's souls.
In the last 3 years Jeff and I have turned each others world upside down; I like to be around people flaws and all while Jeff cannot handle stupidity in any shape or form. He has no tolerance for anything that he cannot logically understand and I will take the time to explain it to him... Jeff gives me harshness while I try to soften him; something which he dislikes but tolerates because he loves me so much. We love each other so much that we listen to each others views/perspectives on life and find a happy medium within ourselves to co-exist with one another. Yes, we do rub each other the wrong way a lot of the time; we are constantly eroding away that part of ourselves that keeps us narrow minded and closed off from other ways at looking at the world. Re-building the core concept of who we are and what we represent into a better working version of our self for all to take notice of.
For all of Jeff's rough exterior he his quite gentle, caring and gets easily hurt if he isn't appreciated in all that he does for you. This is what I show on the outside. This is the side of him that rarely comes out because it is too vulnerable for him to show. Sometimes I have to bring out my anger to show him that words do hurt because they do have meaning; that I may be immuned to his venomous tone but that doesn't mean the poison does not affect me. That the tears that I shed are not from fear or sadness; that they are cause I am angry and my adrenaline is pumping. Lashing out only as a last resort with carefully chosen words in a tone that he will listen to. I am zen till it is time not to be zen...
Despite all of this, Jeff and I are extremely lovable towards one another which actually surprises the both of us. Our hearts have been closed off for a very long time and the fact that we allowed each other into our hearts in the first place is hard to believe. I have a giving heart but not in relationships; that nearly always leaves me broken and numb. Jeff only gives if he is in a relationship; then gives it up when the girl consistently disappoints him. We are by no means each other's "ideal companion" for one another but it is my flaws that make me human and he wouldn't have me any other way... Jeff needs someone to love him past all of the hostility and aloneness that he harbors within him; someone who knows what it is like and still can be sweet and kind all the while living with that cold feeling...
Love is an emotion that I understand well; Jeff doesn't get it and just knows that he cannot be with out me for any period of time. [makes going to work for him that much harder now that we do not work together anymore] His love for me is instinctual; primal and yet protective and nurturing...only caring about my happiness. Cause when I am happy; he is happy. Simply put: we are opposites that are just mirror images of one another's souls.
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