I ask myself how was I able to turn my life around
Why was I the one chosen few to be able to come back from oblivion?
From being in my own personal hell on earth to such happiness for life?
Was it god that heard my frantic cries?
Or was it the spirit of my ancestors that passed before me telling me that all would be well?
I wonder how I allowed myself to become broken and used
A mere shadow compared to what I had the potential to be?
Still do not know how I let someone extinguish my flame and control me into nothing
Back then was I so naive and starved for love that I was willing to do anything to feel loved
Was it imprinted on me so much that I put myself in a false sense of security
Or was this experience merely a life lesson that I had to go through
In order to get to who I have always been and chose to ignore it?
Ignoring the fact that I have always been on my own?
Having taken care of myself letting no one tell me what I can or cannot do
These thoughts jumble my brain as a recurring nightmare of a past life -
1 I chose to repress
Like the phoenix I have risen from my own ashes
Been reborn into the person that I truly am
Letting my flame shine with an eternal fire that no one can put out.
© 2009 Ashlee Elizabeth Lindsay
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